He doesn't like me.

     There's this boy in my class. I've always thought he was cute but never really paid that much attention until this Monday. I was really frustrated  with myself because of an algebra lesson wich I just couldn't figured out even though I was supposed to, suddenly, I started crying. Don't ask me why or how, all I know is that, at that moment, it felt like I was useless, like I couldn't do anything at all and that my life was screwed. I know, "what a dramatic girl!"! I was totally overreacting but that didn't make how I felt any less terrible. 

     On that day, while I cried like a baby, I found out that I have the greatest friends of all. As soon as they realized I was crying, they all came to me to cheer me up. Literally all of them! I wasn't even that close to some of them before that but now they're everything to me... Anyways, they are in six. B and La aka my best friends, V who I call brother even though we're not blood related, Lu who has became one of my closest friends ever since, C who had already cheered me up before and Le, who was still to became the cute guy I mentioned before.  

     They were all great, each one made an effort to cheer me up in his/her on way but than it was Le's turn. He talked to me really calmly and, although I was still a bit sad,  his "speech" along with everybody else's made me feel a lot better. Then, without thinking I asked for a hug and he hugged me. That was when my "Oh, he's cute" feeling turned into "Shit, I like you more than I should". 

     Everything was fine, right? Yeah, I thought that too, after all, he was single and close to me, maybe a had a chance... Spoiler Alert! I don't. Today, I found out that even though we became closer, everyone seems to think that he likes guess who? La! He didn't confirm but not denying makes it pretty obvious that it's true, doesn't it? I'm acting like I don't care so it won't be obvious that i like him and the thing is she doesn't like him (right now, I gotta tell you that this is the second time this year that something like that happens to him and, also, La likes someone else).

     With all of that, my mind insists to make the selfish question of why he can't like me instead since I seem to be the one that would like him back. I feel bad for felling like that but, there's more to the story... Today, we had this free period at our school's terrace and they were there laid down REALLY close to each other and when we went back to our class, V saw them standing close and Le's hands were on her waist. Now, how can I believe in her saying that she doesn't like him??? Like, common you too! Stop playing with my heart! I should probably just give up on having crushes, you know? Maybe if I'm not looking for someone, someone will find me. That's probably the best, after all, Le doesn't like me.